When Disappointment Is Doubt
If any organization should have represented God well, it was Ravi Zacharias International Ministries. I worked there. I had all the theological answers to explain human crookedness, but I still wasn't prepared for the spiritual abuse. In my pain, I wondered if anyone was listening. My leaders said God existed, but they didn't live like he did. And if God's representatives are corrupt, it made me wonder: is God even real?
Read Mark 9:17-27
I can't imagine my children convulsing in the dirt. This young man and his father have endured years of trauma, wrestling with an evil force trying to destroy them. In desperation, the man asked for help from the disciples and the scribes, who both claimed to represent God. But they failed him. They couldn't do it. By the time he finally meets Jesus, his faith has been battered again. Not just by the demon, but by the disappointment of powerless religious leaders. So, he hedges: "If you can do anything..." Who could blame him? When religious people fail us, we instinctively lower our expectations of God. Remarkably, Jesus attends to this man's soul before he restores his son. He invites him to be wholehearted, and the man responds with the most honest prayer in the New Testament: "I do believe; help my unbelief!" He is saying: 'Yes, I've still got a scrap of faith left, but it is not enough for this crisis. You're going to have to pull me across the finish line.' And on the strength of that fractured, honest, half-believing prayer, Jesus healed his son. Everyone in this story who acted as if they had it together had an impotent faith. Only the cry of a broken father was heard by God. If this story shows us anything, it's that faith isn't opposed to doubt. It is opposed to pretending.
"I believe; help my unbelief." If you're honest, which half of that prayer feels more true for you right now?
Has disappointment with Christians or the church ever made it harder for you to trust Jesus?
What's one specific doubt you've been afraid to say out loud?
Jesus invited this man into an honest conversation. No hiding, no pretense. You don't need to fix your doubt today, but you don't have to carry it alone. I invite you to send this text to a safe friend right now: "Can I tell you something I've never said out loud about my faith?"